🤣 NEW BRUNSWICK JOKES & ONE-LINERS 🤣

General NB Jokes

1. New Brunswick: where the potholes are so deep they qualify for their own postal code.
2. In New Brunswick, your GPS doesn’t say “recalculating,” it says “good luck.”
3. Only in NB can you experience all four seasons in one day and still be late because of fog.
4. New Brunswick folks don’t get lost — they just take the scenic route… unintentionally.
5. NB isn’t bilingual, it’s trilingual: English, French, and “mumble because it's cold.”
6. “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes” should be the official provincial motto.
7. New Brunswick is the only place where you can hit a pothole and wave to the person who fell in before you.
8. NB mosquitoes aren’t insects — they’re unpaid provincial recruiters for bug spray companies.
9. Gas prices in New Brunswick are so high even your car thinks you’re joking when you say “fill it up.”
10. NB: where people apologize for things that aren’t their fault… and then offer you a lobster.

Saint John Jokes

1. Saint John fog is so thick, even ghosts carry flashlights.
2. In Saint John, you don’t check the weather — you check the fog schedule.
3. “I went to Saint John and couldn’t see a thing.” — Every tourist ever.
4. Saint John’s motto: “If you can see more than 20 feet ahead, cherish it.”
5. The Reversing Falls are the only thing in Saint John that changes direction more than the wind.

Moncton Jokes

1. Moncton drivers use turn signals like rare collectibles — only on special occasions.
2. Magnetic Hill: where even gravity gets confused in New Brunswick.
3. Moncton isn’t windy — the wind just refuses to leave.
4. In Moncton, if the wind stops blowing, everyone falls over from the sudden lack of resistance.
5. Moncton’s city plan is simple: roundabout → roundabout → another roundabout.

Fredericton Jokes

1. Fredericton is the only city where half the population is students and the other half pretends they aren't.
2. In Fredericton, the speed limit is a suggestion and the crosswalks are optional boss fights.
3. Fredericton drivers will stop for pedestrians… even if the pedestrian is thinking about crossing next week.
4. The walking bridge isn’t just a bridge — it’s the city’s unofficial gym membership.

Miramichi Jokes

1. Miramichi: where every story starts with “you’re not gonna believe this…” and you always believe it.
2. The Miramichi motto: “If the fishing rod isn’t shaking, something’s wrong.”
3. Only in Miramichi do people say “I’ll just be a minute” and return three hours later with a new fish story.
4. Acadian / Chiac Jokes
5. Acadians don’t argue. They just “bah ouais” each other until one gives up.
6. Chiac is the only language where you can switch tongues mid-sentence and still be perfectly clear.
7. You know you’re in an Acadian kitchen when butter, lobster, and pride are the three food groups.
8. Acadian fireworks? Just someone saying “Tabarnac!” loud enough.

Fundy & Tourist Jokes

1. The Bay of Fundy doesn’t have tides — it has mood swings.
2. Fundy tides go out so far you start wondering if the ocean just quit its job.
3. Whale watching in New Brunswick: 60% whales, 40% trying not to drop your phone.
4. Hopewell Rocks are proof that even rocks in NB are weathered from dealing with the wind.

Lobster Jokes

1. In New Brunswick, lobster isn’t a meal — it’s a personality trait.
2. NB lobster is so good even vegans take a second look.
3. You know you’re from New Brunswick if you’ve eaten lobster for breakfast at least once.
4. New Brunswickers don’t measure time in hours — they measure it in lobster season.

Pothole & Road Jokes

1. New Brunswick doesn’t have potholes — we have “free alignment inspections.”
2. NB construction season lasts longer than winter, and winter lasts forever.
3. Only in NB do you swerve so much to avoid potholes that people think you’re dancing.
4. New Brunswick roads aren’t bad — they’re just testing your reflexes.

Weather Jokes

1. NB doesn't get storms — it gets personality tests.
2. If New Brunswick had a forecast button, it would just say “surprise.”
3. -40°C in New Brunswick? Still barbeque weather.
4. NB wind will slam your door shut so hard it apologizes after.

Moosehead / Beer Jokes

1. Moosehead: the only beer that tastes like home and bad decisions mixed together.
2. New Brunswickers don’t drink beer — they hydrate aggressively.

Random NB One-Liners

1. You know you’re from NB when “going to town” is a full-day event.
2. NB small talk always starts with gas prices and ends with the weather.
3. Only in New Brunswick does someone give you directions like: “turn left where the old Tim Hortons used to be.”
4. The most accurate map of NB is just a Tim Hortons location guide.
5. NB combines the charm of the Maritimes with the confusion of three languages and too many roundabouts.
6. New Brunswick: where everyone knows everyone… and what they had for supper.
7. “Where you from?” “New Brunswick.” “Oh, say no more — I’ve driven through there.”
   

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